Codename: Pingin (G-Wing Style)
by katanarose
Summary: The people of G-Wing decide to make a movie. Not just any movie! This is based on the original comic strip (by me!!), Codename: Pingin! It's sort of a mock spy story...you know, James Bond, Mission Impossible, you get the idea...
1. Default Chapter

**Codename: Pingin (G-Wing Style!)-Prologue**

Disclaimer-Ain't I so original?  Yes, I know the spy theme does not belong to me.  Yes, I know the G-Wing people also do not belong to me.  But, I do know that this computer belongs to me!  So do the rights to the original Codename: Pingin story!  So take that!!!  

Zoom in on a quiet, peaceful town.  The sound of birds chirping is heard across the land (although no birds are in sight).  Large, brilliantly colored and suspiciously cardboard-like butterflies swoop by.  The sky is a deep, brilliant blue streaked with white clouds that look like they have been painted on by a third-grader.  Which, in fact, they have…

Suddenly, one of the trees, which has, for some reason, a bright, cheery smile painted on it, falls over…

Heero:              Itai!  Why does that stupid tree always fall on me?!

Duo:                 Hmm…could it be because our props person is in THIRD GRADE?  *Glares at Mariemaia, who is currently scribbling all over the side of the library set*

Kat:                  Um…cut!  Take five, people!  *sighs, then glances at Mariemaia's latest masterpiece*  Well…could be graffiti…?

Mariemaia:       *beams*  

Zoom out to the scene of a movie set.  A single, cheap camera is aimed at a set of a small 

park with a bench, plastic flowers, and the tree, which is currently being hoisted up by a 

number of small, green creatures dressed in brightly colored outfits.  

Kat:                  Don't ya just love these guys?  Great of Willy Wonka to lend them to me… 

The Oompa Loompas turn and bow, suddenly breaking out into a loud, raucous song:

OL's:               Oompa, loompa, doompity, dee!

                        Heero just got skooshed by a tree!

                        Oompa, loompa, doompity daa!

                        We shall catch it next time it falls!

A huge alarm clock starts sounding in the annoying tone of a rooster.

Kat:                  *glances at watch*  Ooh!  Break time's over!  Back on set, guys!

OL 1:               *blows trumpet*

A group of annoyed and tired looking teenagers emerges from their respective dressing 

rooms.  Heero, dressed in a snazzy black suit, goes to stand by the tree, glancing at it

warily.

OL 2:               *claps one of those cool black and white things that directors have*  Scene One, Take…38?

Kat:                  39.

OL 2:               Scene One, Take 39!


	2. Chapter 1-Scene One, take thirty-nine

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own James Bond.  Or G-Wing.  But I DO own four birds.  And I will soon own a laptop!  A good one!  Hah! Scene One, Take Thirty-Nine 

Heero:              *glances around warily, while hoisting a really big gun*

Kat:                  CUT!  You're not supposed to have the gun until later!

Wufei:              Stupid onna!  If you make us rehearse this stupid scene ONE more time…

Trowa:             … *nods*

Relena:             My hair is getting wrecked!

Heero:              *remains silent, but waves the gun in Kat's general direction*

Kat:                  *gulps* Ok…yes…it's fine the way it is.  Continue!

Heero:              *glances around warily, while hoisting a really big gun*

Abruptly, a large, dark shadow dashes by.

Heero:              *peers at script*  What is this?!  I'm not saying that!

Kat:                  *glares, while drawing out a large glaive* Just. Say. It.

Heero:              *mutters something unpleasant in Japanese*  A villain!  I must don the Ultra Glasses and become…PINGIN!!!!

                        *puts on some flashy black glasses*

Kat:                  Very good!

Heero:              Kapwing!  *dashes off after dark shadow*

Finally, "Pingin" catches up to the shadow.  Because of the cheap costume (courtesy of Catherine), we can see the face of Zechs beneath the black sheet.  He has cornered a girl in the alley.

Zechs:              Oogly boogly!

Relena:             *screams* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!

Heero:              Hey!  Leave her alone!

Relena:             Ooh, Heero, I knew you'd come and save me, I really did, so let's go off and get married!

Kat:                  CUT!  Relena!  First off, he's not Heero!  

Relena:             ???

Kat:                  Second off, you don't think that he's Heero!  Not yet!

Relena:             ?!?!

Kat:                  And third…THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!!!

Relena:             *sulks*

Kat:                  Ok…roll tape!

OL 1:               *tugs at Kat's sleeve*

Kat:                  Shh!  Not now…we're filming!

OLs 2, 3, 4:      *all tug insistantly at Kat's sleeve*

Kat:                  *now very annoyed* WHAT?

OL 5 (camera): Um…we've been filming all along…

Kat:                  *blushes* Uh…right…so…on with it!

Zechs:              Says who?

Zoom in to an extreme close up of Heero's face, with a large American flag as the background.

Heero:              I…Am…PINGIN!

Zoom out to full length shot of Heero, now holding the flag.

Heero:              I fight for peace, justice, honor…*drones on*

Cast:                ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz….

Zoom in to Zech's obviously plastic fangs.

Zechs:              You're no threat to me, then…

Heero:              Oh, yeah?  Take THAT!  *fires the really big gun at the ghost*

The bullet, however, simply goes right through the ghost, and hits an Oompa Loompa.  Luckily, it's a squib, so the crew member isn't actually hurt.  However, the rest of the Oompa Loompas think he is and crowd around him.  They again break into song…

OLs:                 Oompa, loompa, doompity dad!

                        Number seven has been hit, how sad…

                        Oompa, lompa, doompity dee…

                        *OL 7 sits up*

                        Hey, he's alive!  Wahooey!!

Heero:              *aims gun at the rest of them*

Kat:                  *clears throat*  Back to the script?

Heero:              *lowers gun*

All of a sudden, a small *poof* of smoke appears.  Out of it comes Quatre, dressed in a fairy costume.  This involves a pink tutu, plastic wand, and white, feathery wings that look like they were "borrowed" from a certain little cousin's angel Halloween costume.  Most of the cast would have a problem with its color, but since Quatre seems to enjoy pink shirts, he didn't.

Quatre:             Hee, hee!  I'm your Fairy Helper!

Heero:              *stares*

Zechs:              *stares*

Relena:             *stares*

Cast:                *stares*

OLs:                 *stare*

Quatre:             *blushes*  What?  It's in the script…anyway…

                        Tee hee!  Bullets don't work on ghosts!

Heero:              …So I gathered…

Quatre:             Here, use this!  Tee hee!  *hands Heero a spray bottle and vanishes in another puff of smoke.*

The label on the bottle says, "Ghost Spray".

Heero:              Um…er…take THAT!  *sprays ghost*

Zechs:              Aargh!  *pretends to faint in a puff of black smoke.  Due to the poor quality of the props, however, he can be seen crawling offstage.*

Heero:              Haha!  *makes peace sign while glaring at himself in disbelief*

Relena:             You…you _saved_ me!

Heero:              *backs away nervously*  Um…yes…

Relena:             WOOOOOOOOW!!!!  No one's ever been so kind!!!!

Heero:              (mutters to self) Why do I have a bad feeling about this…?

Relena:             I LOVE YOU!!!  *dashes off in hot pursuit of Heero, who is running as fast as he can*

Heero:              *runs, not noticing he has dropped the Ultra Glasses*

Relena:             I know that deep down you really love me!  I'll follow you until you admit it!!

Heero:              GO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!  *both exit stage left*

Duo:                 *strolls along nonchalantly.  notices Ultra Glasses lying on the side of the "road"*  Hmm…what are these…?

                        *recognition sparks*  Hey!  These belong to Pingin!  That guy I saw on TV!  Geez…he must be rich…I could just…

                        borrow…them…and make him pay!  Haha!

Kat:                  CUT!  That's a wrap, folks!  Good job!

Duo:                 Can we go out for pizza?

Kat:                  *sweatdrops*

Haha…that wasn't *horrible*…was it?  I guess it's more entertaining if you read the original…about people in my school…the comic was originally about penguins, didja know?  That's where I got "Pingin" from…heh, heh...pretty please review?  With a cherry on top?


	3. Chapter 2-Apollo

Disclaimer:  You just want to torture me, don't you?  Hah!  Well, I won't say it!  Take that!  HAHAHAHA!

Duo:                 She doesn't own me

Wufei:              Or me

Trowa:             …Or any of us

Relena:             Or that vulture hat from Harry Potter

Quatre:             But she will own

Heero:              A laptop!  Yay laptops!

G-boyz:            *stare*

Heero:              A heh heh heh…

Codename Pingin (G-Wing Style!) 

In Which Apollo appears

Kat:                  *walks in, stares around in a daze, and sits on a large, poofy sofa*  Hee, hee…ha…(hic)…huh?  Oh…the..movie…Nodepame Cingin, that's it!                          Ha (hic) ha!

Cast:                *stares*

OLs:                 *stare*

Heero:              Duo?

Duo:                 *tries to look innocent**it doesn't work*Yes?

Heero:              What, exactly, did you put in that root beer you offered to get her at the pizza place?

Duo:                 A heh…well, you know, it's so easy to ask the guy in the funny bar hat for _beer_ instead…I mean, the root is so arbitrary, ne?

Kat:                  Aye…the root…(hic)

Wufei:              Does this mean we can go?

Duo:                 Amen to that!

All the cast start to stride towards the door, despite reproachful looks from the Oompa Loompas.  Suddenly, the door bursts open.  A figure is sillouhetted against the bright sunlight.

Cast:                Huh?

OLs:                 Huh?

A thin, blond boy strides elegantly into the studio.

Relena:             Who are you?  This is a private building!

Apollo:             *smirks*  I am Apollo!  I have access to all Kat's stuff!

Quatre:             You mean…the god Apollo?

Apollo:             *looks mildly annoyed that these fools haven't heard of him*  Nooooooooooooo…I'm Kat's _adorable_ lutino-pearl cockatiel who, somehow, has                         been…humanized…

The Oompa Loompas begin to chatter excitedly amongst themselves before breaking into song.

OLs:                 Oompa, loompa, doompity dun

                        Apollo is the god from the sun

                        Oompa, loompa, doompity dird

Duo:                 Dird?

Wufei:              *shrugs*  Just let them get on with it..it'll be over faster.

OLs:                 *glare at Duo and Wufei*  AHEM!

                        Oompa, loompa, doompity dird

                        Apollo is also Kat's dear bird!

Apollo:             *beams*  Anyway, since Kat is…*glances at Kat*..indisposed…

Kat:                  Disposed!  Garbage disposal!  (hic)

Apollo:             Right…anyway, since she obviously can't direct right now, I guess that leaves me in charge.

Duo:                 No way!

Wufei:              I'd sooner be directed by _her_!  *points to Mariemaia*

Trowa:             …*glares*

Quatre:             Yay!

Cast:                *stares*

Quatre:             Er…darn?

Apollo:             *plops into director's chair*  So, I've reviewed Kat's notes on your progress so far…

Duo:                 Wait…what notes?!

Apollo:             *waves Kat's diary around*  …these…

Duo:                 Ooh!  *grabs for it*

Quatre:             Does she know you have that?

Apollo:             *grins*  What she doesn't know can't hurt her…

Kat appears to have fallen asleep.  Her light snores resound around the small studio.

Duo:                 *finally grabs it and flips it open*  Ooh!  Look at this!

Cast:                *cluster around*

Quatre:             *points*  Hey…look!

Cast:                *gasps*

Apollo:             *zaps diary away*  Ok, fun time's over.  Back to work!

Cast:                *stare*

OLs:                 *stare*

OL 3:               Oh, great sir, how did you accomplish this marvelous feat?

Apollo:             *looks amused*  Like this…*zaps OL 3's hat.  It turns from a bright orange Santa hat to that vulture hat from Harry Potter*

OLs:                 Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhh!  *cluster around Apollo*

Duo:                 *smirks*  Looks like you have a fan club!

Apollo:             Yes…and I can zap you, too, if you don't get to work!  

Cast:                *gulps*

Apollo:             *grins* ON to scene two!!

All the actors rush to their places.  The Oompa Loompa with the interesting hat goes to the camera.  Apollo settles back in to the director's chair.

Apollo:             Lights…Camera…ACTION!  (jeez, I've always wanted to say that…)

Kat:                  *stirs from the sofa*  …'Pollo-kun?

Apollo:             Uh-oh…

Haha…I promise I'll write more of the actual story later, just had to put my sweet lil' birdie in here!  Watch for appearances from my other three!  And maybe my dog!  ^_^  Please review!


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